Real Housewives of New York alum Jill Zarin penned an emotional Instagram post on the third anniversary of her husband Bobby Zarin‘s death. 

On Jan. 13 Jill, who appeared on the first four seasons of the Bravo reality show before returning as a guest in season 11, shared a photo of Bobby to Instagram, along with a call for donations to MSK and MD Andersen in memory of her late spouse. In the caption, she wrote a sweet note to Bobby that reflected on the little things she’s learned from him in the wake of his death from cancer at age 71. 

“Today I mourn my soul mate Bobby Zarin, who lives through me every day,” she began. “I finally learned to close doors , turn off lights, check the car before I get out and all the other little things he tried to get me to do while he was here. Why does it take him dying for us to learn the lessons he taught us all. I talk to you everyday Bobby and I know you hear me. You feel me. You touch me. I have tried to live the way you taught me. To always do the right thing no matter what or how hard it can be sometimes.”

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